Somewhere in the last few decades, marriage picked up a vocabulary it was never built to carry “what am I…

A wife once told me, quietly and with a lot of guilt in her voice, “I feel like I’m lapping…

People ask me constantly what “actually works” to keep a marriage together, usually hoping for one secret they haven’t tried…

By Oluwafunke Allen A gentle note before we start: this one names some real pressures tied to family honour, culture,…

A young woman sat in premarital counselling with me a few years ago and said, with total confidence, “I just…

I recommend the Five Love Languages to couples all the time. It’s a genuinely useful framework it gives people vocabulary…

A husband said something to me a few years back that I still think about: “We run this house like…

I once sat across from a couple who had spent fourteen months planning their wedding. Fourteen months. They could tell…

A gentle note before we start: this one touches on betrayal, including infidelity, in general terms. If that’s a raw…

It rarely gets named for what it is, because it doesn’t announce itself as a weapon. It shows up as…

By Oluwafunke Allen Church culture isn’t the only place bad information about intimacy comes from. A separate set of myths…

By Oluwafunke Allen A gentle note before we start: this one names some teaching many of us grew up trusting…

Somewhere around the second sleepless month, most couples quietly stop being a couple and start being a very tired operations…

Nobody hands you a manual for this part. You get taught, extensively, how to choose a spouse but almost nobody…

Every couple that has ever sat in my office and said “we just need to sort out our finances” has,…

Years before I was his wife, my husband handed me sole signatory access to his salary account. Not a shared…

by Oluwafunke Allen My husband and I got on a call recently with our marriage mentor, in a small group…

by Oluwafunke Allen I have been sitting with a small, honest observation lately: so much of the frustration, and even…

by Oluwafunke Allen Statistics will tell you exactly how marriages break. They break under financial pressure. They break under relocation,…

Here’s a statistic I’ve watched play out in my counselling room for fifteen years, long before I ever saw it…

By Oluwafunke Allen Content note, upfront: today’s post talks directly about sexual language between spouses what’s said, not just what’s…

Nobody hands you a manual at the hospital. You get a car seat demonstration, a stack of pamphlets about feeding…

By Oluwafunke Allen Say “foreplay” to most couples i sit with and watch what happens. Eyes flick toward the bedroom.…

Nobody hands you meaning. You excavate it.I used to think meaning was something you found the way you find a…